as written on; January 31, 2007
22:15 | 0 comments
whyyyyyyy?
and so.. what am i to you? or maybe. what am i to anyone? i always thought it was supposed to be this way.. but why its always the opposite? so what ever that i have dont for u is useless? so why am i even trying? it seems as though whatever i do i am just a replacement of someone.. when u have no one to go to its me u find.. why must it be this way. i rather u not look for me at all. sometimes i really feel like blowing my top off. its not as though i am really petty or anything. but it just seems like u are making use of the 'friendship' we have. you and you and you and you. you are all the same. please prove me wrong. i really hope none of u are the same. prove me wrong. be different. dont look for me just cause you dont have anyone to turn to. if so. i rather be left alone. i dont care. i rather be alone than being a stupid substitute. anyway. i wont die being alone. i was borned alone and will die by myself. it makes no difference.
everyone can talk about others but why dont they ever look at themself? i am one of those asshole that keeps on talking but never try to see what type of person i am. we just talk and act as if we are perfect. we say this and that about people like we made no mistakes. we laugh at others like we have never done anything embarrass. we talked back to someone like we are always right. why are human beings like that? all annoying and selfish. thinking of no one but themselves. thinking of nothing but things that will benefits themselves. friends, teachers, parents and seriously everyone. friends only really wish that they benefit from making friends with you. either they want to get something in return from you or they just really dont want to be alone. teachers. why are they teaching? to earn the money. who really want to spent their whole life teaching annoying kids like me? i can say no one would. parents. all they think about is their child. yeah.. their child. as long as their child is alright who cares about that persons child? and so why? why must my world be filled with this kind of people?
maybe i am just a really very negative person. i think negative. that maybe i should not really trust anyone at all. just so i wouldnt be hurt. i rather think negative hate everyone around me than allowing anyone to hurt me. cause only i have the right to hurt myself and let myself be hurt by whoever i want.
okayyyy. i am weird. but maybe i shall not be miss nice any more. not to anyone. why bother when i will never be appreciated. miss cold shall be the next me. miss cold it shall be. since when i have been really nice. it seems like they cant see. they dont appreciate it. they thinks i am invisible. they never really bother much about me. so why care about them? being nice is just me but if they dont appreciate it why bother? cause they can never notice those that you do even though u really care about them the most.
i am hurt by the world. living in this kind of world. it really suck. how i wish i could start a new somewhere. somewhere i will never have to meet this kind of 'friends' anymore. where i can really be who i really wanna be. and pursude my dreams.
everyone can talk about others but why dont they ever look at themself? i am one of those asshole that keeps on talking but never try to see what type of person i am. we just talk and act as if we are perfect. we say this and that about people like we made no mistakes. we laugh at others like we have never done anything embarrass. we talked back to someone like we are always right. why are human beings like that? all annoying and selfish. thinking of no one but themselves. thinking of nothing but things that will benefits themselves. friends, teachers, parents and seriously everyone. friends only really wish that they benefit from making friends with you. either they want to get something in return from you or they just really dont want to be alone. teachers. why are they teaching? to earn the money. who really want to spent their whole life teaching annoying kids like me? i can say no one would. parents. all they think about is their child. yeah.. their child. as long as their child is alright who cares about that persons child? and so why? why must my world be filled with this kind of people?
maybe i am just a really very negative person. i think negative. that maybe i should not really trust anyone at all. just so i wouldnt be hurt. i rather think negative hate everyone around me than allowing anyone to hurt me. cause only i have the right to hurt myself and let myself be hurt by whoever i want.
okayyyy. i am weird. but maybe i shall not be miss nice any more. not to anyone. why bother when i will never be appreciated. miss cold shall be the next me. miss cold it shall be. since when i have been really nice. it seems like they cant see. they dont appreciate it. they thinks i am invisible. they never really bother much about me. so why care about them? being nice is just me but if they dont appreciate it why bother? cause they can never notice those that you do even though u really care about them the most.
i am hurt by the world. living in this kind of world. it really suck. how i wish i could start a new somewhere. somewhere i will never have to meet this kind of 'friends' anymore. where i can really be who i really wanna be. and pursude my dreams.